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Concerned about this, a local woman called on the manager and asked him, "Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you think women are weak, dumb, cantankerous..or what?"

"Not at all, Ma'am," the manager replied. "It is because our employees are used to obeying orders, are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut and don't
pout when I yell at them."]]> http://genderjokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry080717-201007 Resources For Attorneys gj@resourcesforattorneys.com Fri, 18 Jul 2008 01:10:07 GMT http://genderjokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/comments.php?y=08&m=07&entry=entry080717-201007 http://genderjokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry080625-151330 Hubby: "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears."
Wife: "You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"
Hubby: "Yes! I see your picture and ask myself, 'what problem could be greater than this one?'"

Husband: "What are you doing?"
Wife: "Nothing."
Husband: "Nothing? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."
Wife: "I was looking for the expiration date."

A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor."

Boy: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries and troubles and lighten your burden."
Girl: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."
Boy: "Well, that's because we aren't married yet."

Wife: "Do you want dinner?"
Husband: "Sure. What are my choices?"
Wife: "Yes or no."]]> http://genderjokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry080625-151330 Resources For Attorneys gj@resourcesforattorneys.com Wed, 25 Jun 2008 20:13:30 GMT http://genderjokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/comments.php?y=08&m=06&entry=entry080625-151330 http://genderjokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry080523-214429
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change & she does.

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman: before marriage & after.
]]> http://genderjokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry080523-214429 Resources For Attorneys gj@resourcesforattorneys.com Sat, 24 May 2008 02:44:29 GMT http://genderjokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/comments.php?y=08&m=05&entry=entry080523-214429 http://genderjokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry080523-214224
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die. ]]> http://genderjokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry080523-214224 Resources For Attorneys gj@resourcesforattorneys.com Sat, 24 May 2008 02:42:24 GMT http://genderjokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/comments.php?y=08&m=05&entry=entry080523-214224 http://genderjokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry080516-220947
2. We can cry and get out of speeding tickets.

3. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

4. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

5. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

6. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

7. We can fully assess a person just by looking at her or his shoes.

8. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

9. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

10. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.]]> http://genderjokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry080516-220947 Resources For Attorneys gj@resourcesforattorneys.com Sat, 17 May 2008 03:09:47 GMT http://genderjokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/comments.php?y=08&m=05&entry=entry080516-220947 http://genderjokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry080511-193835 Both of them.

Why did the man cross the road?
He heard the chicken was a slut.

How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer.

Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them.

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
We don't know; it has never happened.

Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
They all already have boyfriends.]]> http://genderjokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry080511-193835 Resources For Attorneys gj@resourcesforattorneys.com Mon, 12 May 2008 00:38:35 GMT http://genderjokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/comments.php?y=08&m=05&entry=entry080511-193835 http://genderjokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry080504-222747
The genie said, "OK, You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month, and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three... You only get one wish!"

The man sat, and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I'm scared to fly, and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"

The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible!!!

Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete -- how much steel!! No, think of another wish."

The man said, "OK, I'll try to think of a really good wish."

Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive.

So, I wish that I could understand women, know how they feel inside, and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment. Know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say "nothing,", know how to make them truly happy."

The genie said, "Do you want that bridge to be two lanes or four?"]]> http://genderjokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry080504-222747 Resources For Attorneys gj@resourcesforattorneys.com Mon, 05 May 2008 03:27:47 GMT http://genderjokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/comments.php?y=08&m=05&entry=entry080504-222747 http://genderjokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry080424-212222 A. I must be able to do better than that.

Q. How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
A. Put the remote control between his toes.

Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A widow.

Q. Why does it take 1 million sperm cells to fertilize one egg?
A. They won't stop to ask for directions.

Q. How are men and parking spots alike?
A. Good ones are always taken. Free ones are mostly handicapped or extremely small.

Q. What is the one thing that all men at single bars have in common?
A. They are all married.]]> http://genderjokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry080424-212222 Resources For Attorneys gj@resourcesforattorneys.com Fri, 25 Apr 2008 02:22:22 GMT http://genderjokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/comments.php?y=08&m=04&entry=entry080424-212222 http://genderjokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry080423-213633 The older they get, the softer they get.

Men are like the weather.
Nothing can be done to change them.

Men are like food processors.
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

Men are like commercials.
You can't believe a word they say.

Men are like department stores.
Their clothes are always 1/2 off.

Men are like government bonds.
They take so long to mature.

Men are like mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Men are like popcorn.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.]]> http://genderjokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry080423-213633 Resources For Attorneys gj@resourcesforattorneys.com Thu, 24 Apr 2008 02:36:33 GMT http://genderjokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/comments.php?y=08&m=04&entry=entry080423-213633 http://genderjokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry080404-202838
Rule # 2 If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.

Rule # 3 It is in neither your best interest nor ours to make us take those stupid Cosmo quizzes together.

Rule # 4 You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done -- not both.

Rule # 5 Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials or time-outs.

Rule # 6 Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do we.

Rule # 7 When we're turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the ramp, you saying "This is our exit" is not necessary.]]> http://genderjokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry080404-202838 Resources For Attorneys gj@resourcesforattorneys.com Sat, 05 Apr 2008 01:28:38 GMT http://genderjokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/comments.php?y=08&m=04&entry=entry080404-202838